The other day as I was gushing to Bobby in a sweet and sappy voice with an over-the-top silly face about how awesome of a husband he is, I realized that this season of marriage has been just so good.
Bobby’s bitterness from everything that happened took a hard stab this winter, and we were both finally able to get out of that funk and breathe some bitter-free air.
Bobby feels the sweetness of marriage, too, so it’s not just me acting star-eyed and crazy.
I know that with life there are seasons, but I want to hang on to this awesomeness just a tad longer.
Time to brainstorm and reflect, right?
I asked Bobby, “Why do you think marriage has been SO good lately?”
“Because we’re both humble,” he said without his usual touch of sarcasm in discussing humility.
You know, humility is one of those things that as soon as you claim you’ve got it figured out, it’ll just run out of your hands like sand, leaving you with nothing but cheap pride.
“We’re also seeking to love each other,” he added, referencing one part of a favorite verse, to outdo one another in love, or honor, Romans 12:10.
“We’re saying sorry quickly and resolving conflict better,” I added thinking on the very small ruffle we had earlier that day when he hurt my feelings and I hurt his in turn, then we quickly apologized and talked about the true causes of that spat like grown adults should.
“Yes, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that you’ve been showering me with praise,” he smiled as he reached for my face to give me a kiss.
I have been, definitely. I think his bitterness assuaging made room for me to shower him with praise and love and serve him with joy, instead of feeling as though he really needed me to be there for him as he healed. I was loving him and praising him then, but I think he just felt like it was hot coals on his head, despite how sincere I really was. Recently though, I have delighted in loving him because he received it so well, with warmth and newfound appreciation.
“Do you feel we’re one in purpose right now?” I stared at him.
“Absolutely,” he said.
And that’s been another issue that was hard before this season of sweetness.
It’s hard to see how my love of writing can go hand in hand with his goals. What he wants to do with his life necessitates radical obedience. I just… I just want to write, but with that comes tons of questions of what to write and who to write for and how that causes me to sometimes live in two worlds since I can’t write in the local language.
We’ve currently solved that issue too, where writing is actually inseparable to what we both want to do together with our lives.
I want to stay in this sweetness of season because it’s hard to love others outside of our relationship when it’s hurting. In fact, it’s near impossible without risking to break our relationship. We really have to be healthy to work together well, as parents, as friends to others, as employees…
Whenever our relationship is hurting, we find ourselves needing to focus most of our energy on fixing what went wrong. It’s nice to have this moment where we can just enjoy the sweetness and goodness of marriage.
Beyond the honeymoon, have you had a sweet season of marriage? What were the characteristics of that time? Comment below.